You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry

May 6, 2009 at 7:26 pm (Uncategorized)

You know how they say red heads tend to be feiry and hard to deal with?  You know, a bit hard headed?  Well, in my case, they are very right.  All my life I’ve been the type of person that will crap in your face if you say I can’t or shouldn’t do something.  “Oh really?”  I say “Watch this.”  And I do it anyways.  And for the most part, it has worked really well for me.  How do you think I adopted three kids all at once? 

So what’s the point, you say?  Well, I’ve been out of work for three weeks now.  I had to stop when the hyperemesis took over.  I was losing like 1/2 a pound a day and was needing IV treatment at least 2-3 times a week at the hospital.  I’ve been trying so hard to get back to work to be with my students for the last few weeks of school, but it seems the world doesn’t want me there.

I’ve had a bit of a relapse this week, but hopefully am getting over it.  So I started talking about going back.  So why is it the whole darn world doesn’t want me too?  Not my boss, my supervisor, me fellow teachers, my husband.  They all say to just start getting disability.  Why the hell can’t I just go back?

So here comes my darn hard, feiry red headed self saying, “I can do whatever the heck I want.  If I want to work, I will freakin work.”  And now I find myself with a bit of an issue.  My hard head tells me to get my a$$ back to work and make some money.  Get over it, suffer through, and do your best.  B-U-T is that the right thing for me?  Should I spit in everyone’s faces and say screw you I’ll do what I want?  Which road should I take?  The road less traveled is that of hard work and screw everything else.  But is this one of those times when the easy road is best? 

I sometimes feel like Jekyl and Hyde.  Two sides of the whole fighting for domination.  So not cool.  Why can’t people just say, “Do what you feel is right” and let me decide?  Noooooo.  They have to tell me what I “should” do and fire me up.  Great.

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